Another Listener has asked whether I might be kind enough to share a few words about my reading process for aspiring podcasters and podcastresses. I am, of course, always glad to share secrets, although in this case I don’t think there’s anything illuminating about it. In typical sarcastresse fashion, I could just say that it’s a matter of opening a book and opening a mouth. Or, if I were giving a master class on the subject, I might conceive of ways in which you might make love to your microphone, but of course that would just lead to speculation about romantic leanings, and whether I prefer a boy microphone or a girl microphone.
In all seriousness, the trick, inasmuch as there is one, is to come up for air every few minutes. It’s not unlike when you were a teenager, petting and smooching while on innocent movie theatre dates. This can be all shades of fun, until you find yourself turning purple and panting for the wrong reasons. So, it’s not a matter of making love to the microphone, as much as it is trying to sloppily fondle around the obstruction of an r-rated armrest. Just take it slowly and breathe steadily.
Is there a real answer in here somewhere? I hope so.