Don’t say I didn’t warn you about today’s story, because admittedly, I didn’t warn you yet, but I’m about to: it’s a scary one. Frightful! It might cause you to go to sleep with all the lights on, and even then, you might suffer nightmares. You might find yourself short of breath, or you might … Read more
I have to tell you about a brilliant little moment that happened today. I was on a train, at an hour in which far too many people take the train, leaving us all sardinically resentful of one another’s smells, oversized totebags, and inter-seasonal viruses. This was, or would have been, evidenced by an isolated high-pitched sneeze from the far end of the car, -except- that from the far side of the other end, someone yelled out a brazen “bless you!”
I beg and implore you, dear listener: don’t be misled by the title of today’s podcast. Today’s story features neither the lovely Ms Farrow in her prime –nor- jokes about Hasidim, dental extractions, or polygamy. However, if you can recommend a story about any or all of these subjects, a cookie and a song for you.
In the plot of today’s story, you will find mentioned a real-world conversational device that I can’t help but love, in a guiltily pleasuristic sort of way. I’m not sure what to call it, though I’m sure the modern linguists have had their way with it.
I’ve just spent the past hour editing down today’s podcast while witnessing the almost compulsive bathing, brushing, trimming, grooming, and otherwise torturing my beast by someone who claims to enjoy this sort of thing.
Ow. It hurts to type this right now, and I’m not talking about the endless afflictions of emotional pain. This is not something I’m especially proud of, no way, but to be entirely honest with you, because I like you: a little too much had been drunk last night (and I’m not talking about water), by me.
Yes, I have mighty big arms to give myself such a massive self-congratulatory bearhug, but, you know, I’m entitled, it’s my special day. And so, here are a couple of things I am considering for my next one hundred podcasts:
— podcast in Estonian
— serialise a novel (eh, a short one)
I began scheming for the one hundredth podcast several weeks ago, thinking that I’d gather all the voices that were most important to me, personally and podcastionally, share the wealth and spread the love, and, let’s be honest, go soak on a beach in a land where all the drinks are pink, while all my friends hang out in the trenches of pops and hisses.
Chances are, you’re going to listen to today’s podcast and think: “That’s it?” Or “maybe the audio file got cut off… I’m missing half the story!” Or “Miette’s such a lazy snot to pick such a short story.” But the truth is: I am lazy, it’s true, but that’s never stopped me in the past from reading much longer pieces, you know this! However, the next one, the very special one, is going to be among the longest ever podcasted, and I wanted to make sure you were ready and well-rested for it.
There’s this new higher-than-hightech device that’s now mine, intended to make my podcasts sound better for you, and while I’m not sure of its success rate at doing so, I do know that it’s got every kind of tech-sounding hypermegaphonics that should make it crisper than a blade of grass blowing in the wind in Surround Sound (do you know they really make those noises using cabbages!